January has been a month of analysing everything possibly related to my past, present and future. And with any subject that crosses my thoughts, I experience a brief moment of considering making a list about it.
You name it, I probably made a list out of it.
The control freak in my mind thinks it is an amazing achievement, and that it will be a huge benefit for the future. But now I’m thinking that it’s a lil’ manic.
I’m watching Gilmore Girls.
They’re talking about awkward dates.
How they’re just good for funny stories to tell in the future.
Then I think:
“yes same…had a lot of them in 2016…i could make a list..”
Now I realise, that’s where the list making should end friends.
So now you’re wondering what have I made lists of..?
– Plans for 2017, based on various possible outcomes
– Lists of things I have gone and written, and other plans for those things.
– Things I plan to save up for
– Long term goals
– Short term goals
As you can see from the list of my lists.
I would like to control and plan every outcome of my life.
*just to avoid the inescapable fear of experiencing unexpected things that seem to be flung in my direction just to throw me off balance because it knows about my fear of life in general*
Otherwise January has been fine.
There has been warm weather, days at the beach, more experience driving, good times with family, friends & food, good books, and Gilmore Girls.
And a couple of lazy days where showering and going to bed were the things I looked forward to the most.
*just another wild 21 year old over here*
I have watched so much Gilmore Girls this month that episodes have invaded my dreams, and I wake up feeling angry because Lorelai can be so bad at communicating with her mother most of the time. And also because there is a point where Rory likes two guys at the same time.
How is that possible?
I struggle to warm up my grinch-like heart at times to develop romantic feelings for one guy.
But Gilmore Girls is about them, not me.
It has brought me lots of joy this month, and expanded my love for Carole King.
Now when I hear ‘Where You Lead’ I find myself melting into a mushy mess, and I tend to zone out for a couple of seconds.
But on a serious *and exciting* note I found out that I will be studying Speech Pathology at La Trobe University this year!
Being a singing teacher for the past 2 years I realised that I began caring more about the vocal health of my students rather than how well they can belt like Florence Welsh or sing-along to the Frozen soundtrack. I still love teaching, and plan to continue for now, but my long term focus is now on speech pathology.
Music will always be in my life.
I will always be song-writing, and publishing poetry here on Hay’s Corner, because I couldn’t imagine a life without writing.
But now I want to add ‘Speech Pathologist’ to my resumé, and see where this next career move will take me.
Best wishes for you all in February,
and good luck to those also starting something new in 2017!